Ok, so maybe I was guilty of thinking that my baby could go her whole life without ever having her heart broken or experiencing any physical pain. I didn't start off thinking that though. In fact, faced with a daunting surgery to fix what we believed to be a birth defect at a tender 2 days old, I was quite sure her life would begin with more pain than I'd yet experienced in my entire lifetime. (Not counting my unmedicated labor with her, of course.) However, 30 minutes after wheeling her into the OR we received a phone call from the surgeon assuring us that it was not a birth defect, but an injury received at the hands of the NICU team of our delivering hospital. Bullet number one, dodged!
Fast forward a year. Much to my amazement we had managed to avoid doing any of those lamentable things you hear other parents tearfully retelling. We hadn't dropped her, she hadn't fallen off of a couch or rolled off of the bed, we hadn't accidentally banged her head while walking through a doorway. Saving some minor teeth discomfort, she had still not experienced any significant pain. This is when I started to become fairly confident that maybe, if I was extra super duper careful, she could avoid it altogether. Naive, I know. But there it is.
A few days ago, as Grace was sliding off the couch (on her bum, like's been taught...I'm not a terrible mom) she tripped on a toy as she landed and smacked her face on another toy. I, of course, snatched her up to cuddle her and calm her down; it wasn't until she lifted her head from my shoulder that I noticed the blood oozing all over her beautiful little face. Mommy panic ensued as I tried to determine if she'd lost a tooth, bit entirely through her lip, was missing her tongue, etc.
A nasty gash on the inside of her lip and many kisses later I found myself feeling deflated. My baby girl had sustained her first "injury" on MY watch. Albeit it wasn't too significant and in my heart I know that it's only the first of many owies to come. But I was finally faced with the realization that all the love, wishes and prayers in the world can't keep her safe from everything. I knew, with certain knowledge, as they wheeled her back for her surgery that was never to come that I would have gladly gone under the knife with no anesthesia to save her a second of pain. I would have gladly head dived off the side of our house to save her the minute of tears that ensued from her minor fall from the couch. But I can't protect her from everything. All I can really do at the end of the day is dry her tears and cry with her if need be. But to the first man that breaks her heart, be warned. This mama bear will hunt you down, because at least that's a pain I can blame on someone else. It's not fair but hey, life's not most of the time. Yet another lesson I'll be teaching my daughter in the days to come.
No comments:
Post a Comment